Pretty Little Liars

photo from reddit.com

While I love the show, (I know, I know... "how could you?" Hush!) you'll be glad to know that this is not what this post is about! Instead, I want to talk to you about the facade of perfection that we as women, moms, daughters, aunts, etc. put out there for the world, and more importantly our families, to see.

The perfect home, the perfect husband, the perfect children; I have all of these don't you? You see my pinterest boards, you know I homeschool, you see my facebook pictures; we have the perfect fairytale life, right?

As my perfect husband would say...

"That's a big negative there, Ghost Rider!"

The truth is this, real and raw-

Kitchen Renos... ughhh

Home. We rent. It is a nice home, but it was not when we first moved in.  There were the most unpleasant little bugs, and they were bad. Like, we stayed in the hotel and we had to have the bug guy come back at least twice, bad! It was also dirty. After days of a professional home cleaner coming and scrubbing, and us painting the entire kitchen, we could finally put our dishes in the cabinets. We had to work hard to make this home what it is today. And guess what? I currently have laundry all over the couch that needs to be folded and put away, dishes that need to be done, boxes in my room that have yet to be unpacked, and my kids' rooms are far from what I pinned on their individual boards on Pinterest!

Hubs @ the THOR

Husband. While he is obviously a total hunk, we have not always had the perfect marriage. He is the love of my life, and I his; it wasn't always this way though. This year we will be married for 10 years! Go us right?! Guess what, at one point we were not sure we would make it to 5 years. There was resentment. There were lonely nights. There were hurt feelings. We were in couples counseling! We still fight. We say negative things. We are flat out mean sometimes. We go to bed mad. We still have to work everyday to get past the hurt. We still have to commit everyday to have the love and marriage that God intended for us to have. We still have to agree that divorce is not in our vocabulary, and that we will fight everyday if we have to to make sure we are still talking!

Children. I absolutely adore my children. They, along with my God and hubs, are my entire world! They have helped make me who I am today. I would do and be anything and everything for them. I had a miscarriage. I have residual feelings of that loss every year on May 26th. I had a child out of wedlock. I have two "baby-daddies". One of my kiddos has anger issues. I am nervous and excited and worried about the possibility of one of my children going to private school. I hope that we have set a strong enough foundation for our kids, and worry that we haven't yet accomplished this. I pray for my children to sleep peacefully, and they still have nightmares. I loose my cool sometimes and yell. I occasionally slip and say a few choice four-letter words, never at my kids, but in their presence. I get frustrated. I play outside sometimes, but not like Daddy. I have seriously said, "because I said so" more times than I can count. The list goes on... and on... and on!

So, my question is this...

If my life is not so perfect, and your life is probably not so perfect; why do we feel the need to promote that it is? Can we not help each other by sharing our struggles? Can we not comfort others by being honest and being able to sincerely say, "I've been there too."? Can we not rest in the fact that only He is perfect? Can we not just sit at our heavenly father's feet, where He knows how imperfect we actually are and listen?

I love the story of Mary and Martha in the book of Luke.

Luke 10:38-42 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

When I read this passage, I imagine Martha rushing around the kitchen making sure there was enough food, enough drink, and a seat for everyone. Her hair's a mess, and she has flour on her face. Everything was not perfect, but Martha was going to work hard to make it so. Mary, on the other hand, just sat quietly at Jesus' feet clinging to every word he was saying. In her angst, Martha calls from the kitchen, "Uh hello, I'm trying to get everything done, can't you tell Mary to come help me?" In her rush to make everything "seem" perfect, she misses the opportunity to be blessed by Jesus' words. We see the same reactions from Martha and Mary in John 11:17-40. Verse 20 says, "Then Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met him: but Mary sat still in the house." Mary sat patiently waiting for Jesus to come. Martha was again running around worried.

Although Martha and Mary had the same question to Jesus, their hearts (and in turn the response they received) were different. Martha was rushing around, her heart was not prepared and she had not spent much time in God's presence. Mary sat quietly preparing her heart; focusing on God, not her grief, and Jesus was moved and responded to her differently.

More times than not, I am a Martha. I try to make everything seem perfect. I focus on the external and not the internal. I am concerned with how the world views my life and not with how God views my heart. I, like Martha, sometimes miss out on the unexpected miracles in my life because I'm constantly trying to achieve perfection.

Thankfully, we have a big God. His love and mercy are far greater than our shortcomings. It's time to be real folks; are you worried about being perfect on the outside or perfected by God on the inside?

He loves us so. Be blessed my loves.