Over the years I have seen so many of our close friends and family go through divorces. Why? The reasons are limitless..."He/She is just not who I thought they were." Infidelity. Mental, physical, emotional abuse. "I love him/her, but I'm just not in love with him/her."My own marriage was "rocky" at one point. I threw out the "D" word on more than one occasion.
Thankfully, God gave me a super strong husband. We worked tirelessly through the junk and were able to salvage the pieces to re-make a whole. We agreed to never use the "D'' word again.
Now, please feel my heart; I in no way am trying to make anyone feel less if you have been through or are going through a divorce. I know that our rough times seemed like there was no light, and maybe that is where you are at right now. This post is for those who might be thinking about marriage, or might be thinking about a divorce. This post is about the romanticism that Hollywood and the world put on relationships. Relationships are hard. Marriage is hard. I can only imagine that divorce is equally hard. It's raw, it's emotional, it takes a physical toll on everything.
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| When it all began, over 15 years ago :) |
10 Lies the World May Tell You About Your Marriage:1. “If you’re not compatible, you may have married the wrong person.”
God’s truth says that marriage is a covenant relationship. Once you choose to marry, it’s no longer up for debate as to whether your spouse is the “right one.” Marriage makes them the right one, for it’s a commitment before God. It’s never to be based on shifting feelings, but a choice every day to love the spouse you’ve chosen to marry. In a world that often prefers to “trade in for an updated version,” this truth doesn’t make sense. But according to God’s Word it’s very clear.
"Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." Mark 10:9
2. “The grass is greener on the other side.”
The truth is, the grass is greener where it’s being cared for. Where it’s being watered. The lie of our culture will whisper that everyone else has it better, or we missed out somehow. It will draw us to compare and compete, but that is never God’s way. He desires that we cherish and love our spouse, just as Christ cares for and loves the church. If we spend more time focusing on what we have, instead of what we think we don’t have, we’d be much more grateful for the treasure of His gifts.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her… and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” Eph. 5:25, 33
3. “If you’re not happy, don’t stay in an unhappy situation. You deserve more.”
For many of us, marriage can tend to bring our selfishness out like nothing else. We want our way. We insist on our rights. We want our spouse to make us happy, and right now! In the midst of demands, we’ll never be free to truly love and serve one another. Our focus will tend to be one-sided – our side – and what we want. Yet God’s goal for marriage was not just to “make us happy.” The truest picture of marriage is that it symbolizes the love of Christ for us. And His desire for us all is that we be made more into the image of Himself.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Cor. 13:4-5
4. “Your spouse should know how to meet all your needs.”
Often we marry someone who is completely different than us. It’s true, many times, opposites do attract. But that doesn’t have to doom us to failure. Marriage is a life-long process of growing together. We don’t always get it right. We might even fail miserably. But just as we need grace and forgiveness, we need to extend it. Our spouses cannot read our minds; they may not receive and give love in the same way we do. But neither are we to expect that all of our needs be fulfilled by this one person. No one can take the place that only God holds. He’s the only One who can satisfy our deepest needs for love.
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Ps. 73:26
5. “Divorce is always an easy option.”
If we enter into marriage where divorce is an “option,” we’re already in trouble. Because times will inevitably get difficult, and someone will start looking for a fast way out. The truth is, sadly, divorce happens. But even when it does occur, it’s never an “easy option.” It strikes a heavy blow to all involved. God’s truth reminds us that it doesn’t have the final say over our lives. He is our Healer; He gives hope and purpose for the future. No matter the struggles we might be facing, we can make the renewed choice today, that as far as it depends on us, we will not give room to that option.
“For I know the plans I have for you…plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11
Reasons 6-10 listed over on Crosswalk.com!
I know that satan is wanting you to fail. He wants nothing more than for your relationships, your friendships, and your marriages to implode in your face utterly crushing you. The good news is that God designed us to have relationships. To be in fellowship with one another. To be married. Genesis 2 tells us that it was not good for man to be alone.
God created us to be partners. For a man and woman to become one in marriage. God created marriage for our relationship to mirror the relationship between Him and us. There is no more perfect union.18Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”...21So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
He loves us so. Be blessed my loves.
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